As posted on Facebook, a blurb about suicide

 I think some people need to take a step back and reevaluate their opinions on suicide. All the time, I hear "how could they do that to their kids?" or "they were selfish."

After having gone through a serious attempt myself, I can tell you two things for sure.

1. Suicide can be planned or just done on impulse.
2. People who attempt suicide are completely convinced that everyone (yes, even the "kids") is better off without them.

My attempt was impulsive. I felt the worst pain in my life in one moment and there was only one way to make it stop. It was from a place of despair and desperation. It's perfectly normal for people to act a certain way in the moment, and then regret it later once everything blows over. Sadly those who kill themselves never get to regret it.

I didn't feel bad about trying to die. It wasn't because I was selfish, it was because I truly believed that everybody would be better off if I wasn't around. People say "how could they think that?" "that's insane!" Yes, it is insane. This is what depression can make you think. It is a mental illness, not a mood. I believed that I was a burden on my family, both financially and emotionally. I believed that my friends didn't actually like me and were just talking to me out of pity. I believed that everyone would be able to move forward with their lives easily because I wasn't that important. Yes, it was insane. It was completely irrational, but for people with depression, this is their reality. This is their thought process. 

I hope everyone thinks about this tonight, because it's important. My family just lost a close family friend. We are grieving. We want to know why. That's completely natural, we want to know the reasons behind the actions of others. But there is no anger, just the echoing question of "what could have happened that put him in so much pain?" That's truly how most suicides are. There is a limit to how much pain we can actually handle. He likely reached his.